Two For One
by Bonnie Caledonia
Summary: As the title suggests this is two different stories in one fic. Take a look inside if you want to know more.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Okay, I came up with two stories, but after writing them I realized they were too similar in basic content to post separately so I'm posting them together as a way to find out which one you all like better. They're both about Jane taking care of Lisbon, which is a bit of a switch from what we usually see on The Mentalist.

Pitchykin

Of all the strange things that could happen on a case this had to be one of the weirdest.

Seriously, driving home a drugged Lisbon was not at all how Jane had pictured his evening going.

He personally thought she should still be in the hospital, but they'd said since she hadn't actually ingested anything that the drug would have to wear off naturally. She could've stayed the night for observation if she'd wished, but Lisbon had wanted to go home, which they said she could only do with supervision.

So that's why he was now trying to help his partner stay upright while they made their way to her front door.

When they, finally, got there Lisbon fished out her keys.

"Here, let me help you with that," he offered.

"No, I can do it by myself," she answered petulantly. Sort of the way a child would if their parent tried to help them with something the kid thought they could do on their own. But, as is the case in many of those situations, it turned out Lisbon couldn't do it by herself. She dropped the keys after her first attempt.

Jane sighed while shaking his head at her.

"I told you Lisbon, you should've let me help you."

With some maneuvering he was able to reach the fallen keys and at the same time keep a hand on Lisbon's arm to prevent her from toppling.

She reached for the keys again but Jane lightly smacked her hand away.

"No you don't. I'm doing it this time," he said sternly.

She twisted her expression into one of seriousness and gave him a mock salute.

This must be what inebriated Lisbon is like, Jane thought.

He shook his head at her again, but this time the movement was accompanied with a smirk.

Releasing the doors lock he opened it and said, "Okay private, let's get you inside."

An indignant and insulted look formed on her face.

"Who are you callin' a private buster," she demanded as she poked his chest with one finger. "_I_ am a lieutenant."

Jane took hold of the hand whose finger was assaulting him and turned her bodily toward the open door.

"Alright _lieutenant_, let's get you inside. Okay?"

"'Kay," she agreed, her head nodding like one of those bobble head dolls.

With the consultant's help she avoided tripping over the doorstep as she trudged into her house.

Once inside Jane sat her down on a nearby chair and turned away to shut and lock her door. When he turned back to help Lisbon he found that she had vacated the seat and was making her wobbly way to the stairs.

Oh no, not the stairs.

"Uh, Lisbon?" he asked as he rushed forward to steady her. "Maybe we should stay down here for a while, huh?"

"I wanna go to bed," she answered trying to pull away from him.

Jane could tell that this was a point on which she was going to be stubborn, and he really wasn't in the mood to fight with her about it.

Great, stairs it was then.

"Alright fine, but we go slowly. The last thing we need right now are a couple of broken necks."

"Mmkay," she complied.

Taking hold of both her arms from behind Jane steered her in the right direction. When they got to the first step he tightened his grip on her.

"Now you need to step up. Can you do that for me?"

"Mmhm," she affirmed.

"Good."

They continued up the steps at a snails pace with Jane giving Lisbon step by step vocal instruction until they reached the top some five minutes later.

Jane found the process a little aggravating, however, the ascent was made somewhat funny by Lisbon asking every couple steps, "Are we there yet?"

Having now conquered their figurative Mt. Everest Jane guided her through her hallway to the door at the end which he presumed was her bedroom's.

On the way he spotted a bathroom and heaved a sigh of relief. At least they wouldn't have to contend with the stairs again tonight.

Jane swung the bedroom door open and saw that it was indeed Lisbon's room. It was neat and tidy and didn't have the look of being lived in at all.

Lisbon attempted to pull away from him again and this time succeeded. She took the few feet between the door and her bed with quick, shaky steps and dropped herself face first down onto the mattress.

Jane followed her, moving to the right side of the bed where her head was. He knelt down and brushed her now messy hair from her face.

Suddenly Lisbon turned to her side, grabbed his hand, placed it on her forehead, closed her eyes, and murmured, "That's better."

Jane deduced from the feel of her overly warm skin that she was running a bit of a temperature. He didn't worry too much though; the doctor had said it was likely she would have a slight fever.

Coincidentally the hand Lisbon had appropriated was his left one and when her fingers unexpectedly began toying with his wedding band Jane felt his breathe hitch.

It felt funny, but he didn't stop her. She wasn't hurting anything really.

Then she opened her eyes slowly and looked at him in the dim light (he hadn't thought to turn on the lights). Her green eyes were sad and serious.

"I envy you sometimes," she said quietly.

That threw him for a loop. Who in their right mind would envy _him_?

"Oh, why is that?" he questioned with genuine curiosity.

"Because you know what it's like."

"What what's like?" he asked, though he could make a good guess what she was talking about.

"Being married…having a baby," she answered softly. "I'm never gonna have a baby…probably."

Jane's heart broke a little at the expression on her face. Such sorrow, regret, and wistfulness.

But before he had any real amount of time to ruminate on her words he was in-taking a sharp breath and attempting to keep Lisbon from rolling off the end of the bed.

After he had successfully stopped her from inflicting bodily harm on herself he brought his hand to the back of her neck to turn her face toward his and looked at her closely.

"You okay?"

"Mhmm, keeny peach."

Jane smiled, amused at her blunder.

"Don't you mean peachy keen?"

"That's what I said," she insisted, "pitchykin."

She paused for a moment and Jane tried not to laugh at the confused look on her face. She got it after a few seconds and broke into a grin, then giggled and turned her face into the plush afghan at the foot of her bed in an attempt to mute her laughter. Jane joined in with a light chuckle then waited for her merriment to subside.

When it did Lisbon turned her face back to his and stared intently at him.

Jane tried not to feel uncomfortable, but it was as if she was looking into his very soul.

"Has anyone ever told you you're handsome?"

Well, maybe not quite to his soul.

The drug must have affected her memory too, because she already knew the answer to her question. Be that as it may Jane humored her.

"A few people."

"Mm, I like the lines on your face. They tell a story."

That was a strange kind of compliment.

"Oh they do, do they?" he urged her to continue.

"Uhuh, these ones," she reached out with her forefinger and laid it's tip against the corner of one of his eyes, "are happy lines. And these," she transferred her finger to the space between his eyes and Jane felt his slight frown ease under her gentle touch, "are sad." She ran her finger down his face until she reached the corner of his mouth then swept the soft pad of said digit along the seam of his lips to the opposite side of his mouth. Jane swallowed roughly at the sensation of her touch against the sensitive skin. "And these," she continued, "are happy and sad." She took her finger away. Jane immediately missed it.

"You're happily sad…or sadly happy. I'm not sure yet."

For being a nonsensical and rather gloomy observation it was, for some strange reason that he couldn't explain, kind of astute.

"Well I hope you figure out an answer for your conundrum."

Lisbon tried to, unsuccessfully, mimic the word.

"Condru…conunnun…conu…"

She ceased in her efforts and Jane saw with concern that she looked like she was going to be sick. He should've been expecting it, the doctor had warned him about this too.

"I'm feelin' a little woozy," she slurred. "I think I need the trash can."

Jane looked around quickly for the requested item and upon locating it brought it over to the side of the bed.

He got it to her just in time. The next moment she was leaning over the edge of the bed lurching into the bin.

Lisbon hadn't bothered to pull her hair back so Jane scrambled up beside her onto the mattress and held her hair back with one hand while rubbing her back comfortingly with the other.

"It's okay, it's okay. You're going to be fine," he soothed.

She didn't have much in her stomach so the vomiting didn't last long and after a couple of residual dry heaves she pulled back, turned over on her back, and looked up at Jane.

"Am I drunk?" she asked him dazedly.

"No, you were drugged," he answered, but it didn't seem to register with her.

"I don't like drunks. They hurt people." A terrified look came over her face. "I don't want to hurt you."

Jane started shaking his head, "No, no sweetie. I know you'd never hurt me."

But his words did nothing to placate her. She scrambled away from him and off the bed, then rushed dangerously down the hall to the restroom.

By the time Jane caught up with her she was sitting on the bathroom floor, her knees curled up to her chest as she rocked back and forth in a self-comforting motion.

He knelt down next to her but decided it might not be a good idea to touch her and just waited until she raised her bent head to face him.

There were unshed tears glistening in her eyes and he yearned to wrap her in a hug and tell her everything was all right, but he wasn't sure if he should.

"I don't hurt you do I?"

Her tone was so insecure sounding.

"No, no of course you don't sweetheart."

Lisbon sniffed a little and gave him a weak smile. Then, unfolding herself from her enveloped position, she stood shakily and grabbed her toothbrush out of its holder.

"I need to brush my teeth. My breath smells like yuck."

Jane raised himself from his place on the floor and placed his hands around her waist in an attempt to steady her swaying form.

She pushed at his hands in frustration.

"No, I can stand by myself," she insisted.

"I know honey, but I'm just going to leave my hands here like this just in case. Okay?"

She stopped struggling against him and shrugged.

"Okay."

With Jane's help she got the toothpaste on the brush and cleaned her teeth. Much to his amusement she hummed Peg O' My Heart the whole time she was brushing. Not too badly either, she had a nice mellow sound. When the task of brushing was complete she took out, from one of the sink cabinet drawers, and elastic band and did her hair up in a very messy bun. Then she washed her face.

With her nightly routine now completed they moved back to her bedroom and he sat her down on the bed.

"Where's my pajamas?" she asked. "I need my pajamas."

Oh dear, he hadn't thought about this part of beddy-bye-time. Nevertheless he searched for her nightclothes until he found them under a jacket on a chair in one corner of her room.

"Here they are," he announced handing them to her.

"Thanks," she replied gratefully as she stood.

She was less wobbly now. Maybe the drug was starting to wear off.

"No problem."

She started to unbutton her top and Jane froze.

Oh dear.

But she paused mid-button and made a vigorous turn-around motion with her hand.

Oh thank goodness, he thought with relief. At least the drug hadn't robbed her of her sense of modesty. Although, if she happened to need help it would be unkind of him not to, so with his back still toward her he said, "You tell me if you need any help alright?"

"Shhh," she shushed him. "Don't talk to me while I'm changing."

"Sorry," he answered back to her odd request.

"S'okay."

She sounded sleepy. She'd probably be out of it soon.

Several minutes and numerous struggling-with-clothing sounds later Jane felt a light tap on the back of his shoulder.

"Hey, I can't make the bunny go through the hole," she whispered.

He turned around and, not being sure why she was whispering, whispered back, "That's alright, I'll help you."

The bunny-going-through-the-hole she was talking about were the strings on her sweatpants.

Jane pushed her tank top out of the way, took hold of the two ties ends, and tied the ribbon for her.

"There, how's that?"

Instead of the expected 'fine' he received a very _un_expected kiss on his cheek.

When Lisbon pulled back from her appreciative smooch she proclaimed, "You're sweet."

Not knowing quite what do to with this never-before-seen affectionate Lisbon he replied with the first thing to pop into his head.

"You too."

"Really?" she sounded pleased at his admission.

"Mmhm," he affirmed again.

Her expression turned a little bashful. Jane thought it was cute.

"Thank you."

"Your welcome."

Turning away from him she took her clothes, folded them neatly, and deposited them on the same chair Jane had found her pajamas. Then with this accomplished she crawled up onto the bed and laid down.

"Don't you think you'd be more comfortable _under_ the covers?" Jane asked.

"Yeah, I guess," she agreed sleepily, but made no move to do so.

Jane came close and maneuvered her until he was able to free the bed sheets beneath her, then tucked her in snuggly.

Just as he was about to move away she reached out and took his hand in hers.

"Can you stay?" she requested.

Jane hesitated. The woman was under the influence of a drug. He felt a bit like he'd be taking advantage.

"Pretty please with a cherry on top?" she pleaded.

At her childish begging he relented.

"Alright," he capitulated. Then he spotted the trash bin next to the bed. "But first I need to take care of this."

"M'kay."

"Okay, I'll be right back."

After he'd finished cleaning up the mess he returned to the bedroom.

Without a word Lisbon scooted to one side so he would have more room and lifted the covers in a silent invitation.

Jane toed off his shoes and laid down next to her warily. He still wasn't really sure about this, but as soon as he was settled Lisbon cuddled up to him and then he really, really wasn't sure about this.

However, when his bed partner let out a contented sigh he decided the situation wasn't so bad and tried to make himself relax. Although honestly, he had no idea what was going to happen in the morning. He fervently hoped she wouldn't punch him out of cop reflex if she woke up in the middle of the night and realized a man was in bed with her.

Lisbon tucked her head into the nook between his chin and shoulder and planted a warm peck on the side of his neck.

"Night P.J."

For a moment Jane didn't know if she was talking to him or not being that he'd been distracted by yet another of her impromptu kisses, but the second his wits returned to him he answered her with something he thought might be appropriate.

"Goodnight Tessie."

"Mum," she whispered softly.

"What?"

"My mum," she explained. "She used to call me that."

Idiot, Jane reprimanded himself silently. You couldn't have thought of some other nickname.

"I miss her."

He felt something wet land on his neck and realized Lisbon was crying. Bringing his hand up to her hair he soothed her gently.

"I know you do babygirl, I know you do."

He wasn't altogether sure why he was using all these endearments, but for some reason, in this situation, it felt right.

"Is it gonna be pitchykin soon?" she murmured.

"Yeah it is, it's going to be 'pitchykin' soon," he answered, hoping he was telling the truth.


	2. Chapter 2

Protective

He was running down the hallway at a breakneck pace. He had to get to her before…

He stopped short suddenly the cold hand of dread strangling the breath from his lungs.

She was lying on the floor in a crumpled heap.

Jane forced himself forward to help his partner. He knelt down beside Lisbon's still form, pulled out his phone and dialed 911 while feeling to see if she still had a pulse.

The giant knot in his chest loosened slightly when he felt the weak but steady beat beneath his fingertips.

As soon as his call was answered he frantically told them that an officer was down and that she needed an ambulance at their location right away.

"Alright sir," the woman on the other end of the line replied. "Can you tell me the nature of her injuries?"

He checked her over and when he caught sight of a small puncture wound in her left arm the pit of his stomach dropped.

"She's been injected with something. I don't know what."

"Is she conscious?"

Jane shook her shoulder. Lisbon's eyes opened a fraction and she let out a small moan.

"Yes," he confirmed. "Barely."

"Okay, I need you to keep her awake until we can get to you."

"I understand," he said hurriedly and hung up.

Shoving the phone back into his pocket he looked down only to panic when he saw that Lisbon's eyes were closed.

He propped her up against the nearest wall and brought his hands to her shoulders.

"Lisbon, open your eyes. You have to stay awake till the ambulance gets here."

There was no response.

"Come on honey, don't do this," he pleaded while shaking her urgently. "You need to wake up Teresa, now."

There was still no response.

Not knowing what else to do Jane raised his arm.

"Sorry," he whispered and brought his hand down to her cheek in a hard slap.

He cringed at the resounding smack as his palm came into contact with her face.

If that didn't do it he didn't know what else would.

Just as he'd given up, decided that hadn't worked either and was trying to think of anything else he could do he heard the woman in front of him moan quietly.

"Ouch."

Jane immediately brought his hands up to either side of her face and peered at her intently.

"Lisbon? Can you hear me?"

She mumbled out one syllable, "Jane."

"Yeah, it's me. Can you open your eyes?"

In answer to his question her eyelids fluttered open halfway.

Jane didn't think he'd ever been so relieved to see her soft green eyes before.

"Good, that's good Teresa," he commended her. "Now I need you to keep them open. The paramedics will be here soon. Okay?"

She nodded her head slightly, "Okay."

After a few minutes of Jane talking nonstop and firmly patting her arms and shoulders in an effort to keep her awake Lisbon whispered out another word.

"Sleep."

"Not yet sweetheart. Soon though, I promise."

Then he heard the sirens.

"Real soon."

Four hours later and she was doing just that.

She was going to be fine. The doctor had told him what she'd been injected with but he'd been to hyped up at the time to remember the medical name. He had called Cho and told him Lisbon was going to be alright though.

Jane stayed with her while she slept. He wanted to be there when she woke up, which the doctor had said shouldn't be in too long.

He looked up from his task of folding a piece of paper into a little origami frog when he heard his partner start to stir.

Abandoning his craft and sliding forward in his seat he took hold of Lisbon's left hand gently.

"Teresa?" he said softly not wanting to wake her if she was still asleep.

He felt her reciprocate his hand hold with a slide of her thumb along his, then the small woman opened her eyes slowly.

She blinked sleepily and turned her head toward him.

"Hey," she greeted huskily, her voice rough from hours of silence.

"Hey yourself," he answered.

Lisbon extended her tongue to lick over her dry lips.

Jane took the hint and fetched her a glass of water. But instead of handing the cup to her he played nursemaid. He sat down on her hospital bed, helped her sit up, and brought the paper holder to her mouth.

She grumbled a bit during the process saying she could do it herself, but Jane ignored her. He liked helping her and she liked it too, though she wouldn't admit it.

After she'd had a substantial amount of water Lisbon questioned, "Did we get him?"

Jane nodded, "We got him."

She closed her eyes in relief.

Cho had taken Lisbon's attacker and their victim's murderer into custody a couple of hours before.

"Lisbon?"

"Hmm?"

"Promise you'll never do that to me again? You scared the life out of me."

She sighed tiredly.

"Jane, it's my…"

"Job to be in harms way," he finished for her. "Yes I know. But do you think you could be more careful in future. I'm actually very fond of you. Also, I miss you when you're not around."

"I don't think I could've been more careful than I was," she reasoned. "And I'm so glad you'd miss me," she added sarcastically.

"Of course I'd miss you Lisbon. Who else would put up with me if you were gone?"

"No one with their head screwed on right," she answered snidely.

"Insulting yourself Teresa?" he asked playfully.

"Yes, but I've been resigned to the fact that my head isn't screwed on right since the day I signed on with you," she replied calmly.

"Ah," was his response.

"What's that?" she asked gesturing to the, as of yet, formless piece of paper sitting on the bedside table.

"Hmm?...Oh, I was making you a frog as a thanks to you for not dying on me," he explained.

Lisbon smirked, "You're welcome."

She took a deep breathe and smiled cheekily at Jane.

"So…when are you bustin' me out of this joint, partner?"

He grinned back mischievously, apparently quite willing to play along.

"Okay, so here's the plan…" he began.

-:':-:':-:':-

"I still cannot believe you did that," Lisbon said as she and Jane walked through the front door of her apartment.

She had wanted to go back to work and do the mountain of paperwork that came with their now solved case (courtesy of a certain consultant who shall remain nameless), but Jane had insisted, with absolutely no room for argument, that she was most definitely going straight home.

"What? The woman needed a bit of a shaking up," he defended himself of her criticism.

"I think that was more than just a _bit_ of a shaking up."

"Fine," he grumbled. "I don't know what you're complaining about though. I got you out of there like you wanted."

"I'm not complaining Jane," she corrected. "But I do think that you should use a less dramatic method next time."

"Next time? Oh no, no, no, no Lisbon. There will be _no_ 'next time'."

She looked at him exasperatedly.

"We went over this. I have…"

"Yes, yes," he interrupted. "I heard you the first time."

Jane stared at his shoes suddenly feeling somewhat self-conscious.

"Sorry, I'm feeling a little overly protective. Happens when someone I care about very nearly gets herself killed."

"I don't put myself in those kind of situations on purpose you know," she said gently, her irritation at his behavior lessening.

He transferred his gaze from the floor to Lisbon's face.

"I know," was his equally gentle answer.

They stayed in silence for a few moments until Lisbon spoke up.

"Well, thanks for dropping me off."

"You want me to leave?" Jane asked.

"You'd intended to stay?"

"Yeah."

"Oh."

"You don't mind do you?"

"No, of course not," she assured him.

"Good, because I'd really feel better if you let me stay the night."

"The night?"

Lisbon sounded surprised.

"That's what I meant by _stay_."

"Oh."

"So you _do_ mind?"

"No, it's fine. You can have the guest bedroom."

"That's not necessary for just one night. I'll sleep on the couch."

"Alright, well I'll get you a couple blankets and a pillow then," she said as she moved towards the staircase.

"Thanks. Although, it's too early to go to bed yet," he informed her gesturing to the digital clock on her nick-knack shelf. "Do you feel like a movie?"

"Sure," she agreed readily. "But I'm going to take a quick shower first."

"That's fine."

Lisbon was half way up the stairs when Jane stopped her again.

"By they way, how long will you be taking?"

He clarified when she stared at him confusedly.

"I thought I'd start the popcorn so it's ready when you get done."

"What makes you think I have popcorn?" she challenged him.

"Even you aren't above the odd food craving dear," he replied smoothly.

Lisbon sulked slightly. It wasn't fair. How did the man simply _know_ these things?

"I should be about ten minutes," she answered to his earlier question.

"Ten minutes?" He was clearly impressed. "_I__'m_ not even that quick, and I don't have the washing impediment of long hair."

"And I hope you never do," she said playfully.

Turning away from him and continuing up the stairs she laughed inwardly at the visual she'd just given herself.

Jane with long hair…horrifying to say the least.

During Lisbon's shower Jane found and put the popcorn in the microwave, then searched through her collection of films. Not very many, but then that wasn't surprising. He finally chose one he couldn't recall ever having seen and put it in the DVD player.

By the time the popcorn was done, put into a bowl, and salted Lisbon was done with her shower.

She came down the stairs with a towel thrown over her shoulder holding the bed clothes for the couch securely in her arms.

Jane, being a gentleman (at least in most cases), moved to assist her. He relieved her of the large soft bundle she was carrying and deposited it on one of the easy chairs in the living room.

Then he turned and observed discreetly as Lisbon dried her hair in the kitchen.

He supposed it was rather weird but it made him feel better.

In the past when he'd watched his wife do the same thing it had relaxed him for some reason.

Seeing Lisbon go through the same little ritual calmed him, which was something he was definitely in need of, what with everything that had happened earlier.

When she'd finished she flung her head back to get the wet strands of hair away from her face and Jane's breathing hitched slightly. She really was lovely…and adorable, he added mentally.

She was practically swimming in the over sized button down she was wearing, although she had made up for the size difference by tying together the two pieces of excess fabric in the front. Also, the black sweatpants with the white strips running down the legs from hip to ankle were strangely fetching.

Now sufficiently dry Lisbon opened a door on one end of her kitchen and threw the used towel into what he concluded to be the laundry room.

Figuring he'd spent enough time gawking at his partner Jane forced himself to move and walked into the small kitchen.

Lisbon was now rummaging around in the fridge. She gave a triumphant sound and emerged holding up two sodas.

"Last in the house," she declared.

"Lucky," he replied as he grabbed the bowl of popcorn and headed back to the living room with Lisbon behind him.

"Did you salt it?" she inquired.

"Of course."

"Good. Alright, there's Root Beer and Mellow Yellow. Take your pick," she said while plopping down unceremoniously onto the couch.

Jane smirked at the rather childish action.

"Root Beer, definitely," he chose setting down the bowl of their evening snack on the coffee table in front of the sofa and sitting down (in a more subdued manner than his companion) beside Lisbon.

She snatched up the remote from the table and pressed play.

"Oh, nice choice," she said happily as the film began.

"Thought I'd give it a try."

"You've never seen it?" she asked surprised.

"Nope. Why, should I have?"

"Pfft…Bringing Up Baby is probably one of the better comedies Cary Grant did."

"You must be quite the Grant buff," Jane commented, amused.

"Not of him exclusively," she corrected. "But of the old classics? Absolutely."

By the time the movie (which was admittedly quite good Jane thought) was done they'd finished the sodas, the popcorn, and Lisbon was sound asleep on Jane's shoulder. He'd noticed she'd conked out about half way or so through the movie and had turned the volume down so she wouldn't wake up.

He wasn't surprised she'd fallen asleep. One, she'd had a pretty hectic day and two, they'd given her something at the hospital that causes drowsiness.

Not wanting to disturb her and feeling very comfortable himself Jane turned off the TV, leaned back gently pulling her along with him, hooked his legs around hers and swung both pairs up onto the cushions so their bodies were reclining .

Lisbon moaned slightly but didn't wake. In fact, as soon as they were settled she actually snuggled further into him.

Jane imagined she had to really be out of it to do that.

Not that he minded.

The pillow and blankets stayed where they were, forgotten. The armrest served almost as well as a pillow and who needed blankets when a warm Teresa Lisbon was cuddled up to them?

Jane shifted a bit so he could look down at the small woman slumbering against him and smiled. This was something he definitely wanted to repeat. Maybe even in a bed if he was lucky.

With that thought for the future in his mind Jane tightened his arms slightly around his sleeping partner and closed his eyes.

* * *

Thanks for reading. Please review and tell me which one you preferred.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Thank you Sisterspy, Guest, tikismile, CrazerCat, virihu, MissDonnie, LAurore, Lady Arabella Malfoy, and FirebreathingDragon16 for reviewing the last two chapters of this fic. It means a lot to me. By the way, if I got the sandalwood and bergamot scent thing wrong I apologize. I have no idea what kind of "perfumes" men actually wear.

Personal Note to Lady Arabella Malfoy: This chapter was written for you. I really hope it's satifactory.

Morning Romp

She didn't want to wake up. She was warm, comfortable and the pillow smelt like…sandalwood and bergamot.

Wait, what? Why the heck did the pillow smell like sandalwood and bergamot? And why was it moving?

Lisbon raised her head slightly, opened her eyes and looked down blearily.

What she saw made her eyes go wide as saucers.

She was snuggled up to a sound asleep Patrick Jane.

With a mortified intake of breath she pushed herself off and away from her sleeping partner while clutching the covers protectively against her chest.

Unfortunately for her she'd been too surprised to realize how very close to the edge of the bed she was and with a surprised squeal she tumbled backward off the bed landing on the floor tangled in the sheets she'd brought down with her.

Jane awoke just in time to see Lisbon's legs fly up over her head as she toppled bodily from the bed onto the floor.

In startled concern he scrambled to the edge of the bed and looked down at the flailing mass of bedclothes.

Jane bit back a laugh as Lisbon threw back the blankets encumbering her. Her face was flushed, her hair was a riotous mess and she was gapping up at him, her mouth opening and closing as she tried to come up with something, anything, to say. Jane beat her to it.

"Good morning dear. Have a good sleep?"

All of a sudden Lisbon's expression changed from embarrassment to anger.

She disentangled herself fully from the bed's covers, stood and glowered down at him.

"Good morning?!" she said hotly. "I wake up with _you_ in my bed and the first thing out of your mouth is good morning?!"

"I take it you don't remember how we ended up in bed together," he said, stating the obvious.

"Does this _look_ like the face of someone who has any recollection of such a thing?'

"I assume that's a rhetorical question?"

"Of course it was a rhetorical question," she snapped. "What happened Jane? And you had better tell me the truth. I'm in no mood to be messed with."

"You were drugged last night," he answered simply.

"What?"

"Okay, clearly you don't remember that either. What's the last thing you do remember?"

"You dragging me around to help in one of your 'brilliant plays'."

"Ah, alright, well you're only missing a few hours worth. They should start coming back to you soon."

"That's fine Jane, but that still doesn't tell me how we ended up sleeping together."

He raised his eyebrows at her slip of the tongue.

"Oh don't give me that look you dirty old pervert. You know perfectly well what I meant."

"Dirty old pervert! Lisbon, I actually think I'm insulted. I'll have you know I didn't do anything you didn't ask me to."

"You mean I _asked_ you to sleep with me?"

Jane chuckled and grinned cheekily at her second inadvertent verbal mistake.

The moment her eyes squinted at him angrily and she pressed her lips together in a tight line he sensed he might've blundered slightly.

Lisbon picked up one of the pillows from the bed and advanced on him threateningly.

Jane backed away from her.

"Now Lisbon, there's no need to stoop to physical violence."

She placed one knee on the mattress as she leaned closer to his retreating form.

"I disagree, there is _every_ need for physical violence."

With that she raised the pillow and started to swing it down at him.

He grabbed her pillow wielding arm and leaned back to avoid her other hand as it reached out to cuff him realizing just a little too late how close they both were to the edge of the bed.

So for the second time in one morning Lisbon found herself falling off her mattress. The only difference this time was that she wasn't the only one letting out a surprised shout and she had a softer landing this time; being that she landed on Jane.

The consultant groaned.

"No offense Teresa, but I'm a little too old for bedroom romps."

Lisbon looked down at him. Feeling surprisingly unembarrassed by the fact that she was lying on top of Jane. Well, perhaps not so surprisingly. Putting things into perspective she _had_ spent the night curled up with him in bed and this wasn't really that much more of a compromising position than that so…

"You're not the only one grandpa," she replied as she rolled off of him.

"Hey now," he huffed. "I said a _little_ too old. There's no need to make me sound like I'm an antique."

"Yes well, you are getting closer to that half-century mark."

"Good grief, you make me sound as if I'm ancient," he grunted as he sat up.

His partner raised up on her elbows and looked at him amusedly.

"Need some help getting up, Creaky?"

Jane looked down at her with irritation.

"And to think I was going to make you breakfast."

"Breakfast?" Her expression switched to instant interest.

"Oh no, Lisbon," he said with authority as he raised himself with dignity from the floor. "There is no breakfast for mean little girls who can't respect their elders."

Jane puffed out his chest like a peacock and Lisbon had to bit back a laugh at his obvious flippant and playful behavior.

"Okay my handsome, middle-aged knight in shining armor, I apologize. Will you make me breakfast please?"

"That's more like it, and yes I will."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now go get cleaned up while I get everything ready," he commanded as he reached down, hauled her up off the floor and nudged her in the direction of the restroom.

Lisbon walked into the small room, turned around to face him and executed a smart salute as she swung the bathroom door shut.

She paused as soon as the door slammed. That had felt strangely familiar. But she'd certainly never saluted Jane before to her recollection.

Wait a minute, _to her recollection_. Jane had said the memories from the past few hours would come back. She'd probably done the same thing while she'd been under the drug's influence.

'Which reminds me,' she thought. 'He never did tell me how we ended up in bed together.'

Lisbon looked at herself in the mirror above her sink and more memories came flashing back.

**"I need to brush my teeth. My breath smells like yuck."**

**"No, I can stand by myself."**

**"I know honey, but I'm just going to leave my hands here like this just in case. Okay?"**

Honey? Since when did Jane call her _honey_?

'Then again maybe he didn't. After all I am a bit messed up at the moment. Maybe I imagined that part,' Lisbon tried to convince herself.

She shook her head, turned away from the looking glass and started the shower, adjusting it to the right temperature. Then she stripped hastily and climbed over the tub to stand under the showerhead's warm spray. Grabbing her body wash she squirted some onto her hand only to wash it off a moment later when she felt a bought of queasiness grab onto her stomach. Apparently the coconut and jasmine scent was a bit too much for the time being.

Lisbon placed one hand over her midsection and the other on her forehead and for some reason the action triggered a strange memory. A memory of Jane's hand on her forehead and a very weird conversation.

**"I envy you sometimes. Because you know what it's like. Being married…having a baby. I'm never gonna have a baby…"**

Lisbon closed her eyes in shame. Surely she hadn't revealed such personal and private things about herself to her best friend. Had she?

She slid her hand down her face and remembered something else she'd rather not have. She remembered her hand making the same journey, just in a slower and more intimate manner, over Jane's face. And saying something about **"happily sad"**? or maybe it was **"sadly happy"**.

Lisbon slapped her palm against her head a couple of times. How could she have been such an idiot?

Her practical side answered her with a sensible reply.

'You weren't yourself. You were drugged. It's not your fault your tongue was a little loose last night.'

She knew it was true of course. She just didn't know how she was supposed to face Jane when she got downstairs.

Maybe she could pretend she hadn't remembered anything.

Oh, but who was she kidding. This was Jane. He'd know. He usually did.

Lisbon grabbed the unscented soap to wash up with, then moved on to scrub her hair. Thankfully her shampoo scent had no ill effects on her sensitive stomach.

Turning off the water she stepped out of the tub, grabbed one of her towels and started to dry off.

As she went back into her bedroom and dressed she thought about what the best approach to Jane would be. In the end she decided only to say something if he did first. Hopefully he would realize the discomfort she felt at him knowing personal thoughts she never told anyone and not bring it up. But this was Jane, he could be…unpredictable at times. She shrugged her shoulders and decided she'd simply have to go with it…whatever _it_ turned out to be.

-:':-:':-:':-

Jane, realizing it was quite likely Lisbon's stomach would still be somewhat upset, made some very light pancakes and mixed up a topping that didn't contain syrup as that would probably be too sweet for her.

It didn't take her very long to finish upstairs and he was only half way through cooking the pancakes when she got downstairs.

As soon as he saw her face he knew she had remembered at least some of what had happened the night before. Part of him wanted to ask her what she'd recalled, but from her expression it wasn't too difficult to figure out and his suspicions were only confirmed when she glanced guiltily at his left hand, or more specifically, his wedding ring.

No, it definitely wouldn't be wise to talk with her about it now.

So instead he smiled warmly at her and said, "Hey, food will be ready soon."

"That's fine," she responded without looking at him.

She went for the coffeemaker, but Jane blocked her before she could get to it.

"That might not be such a good idea Teresa."

After a moment or two she conceded it probably wasn't. No need to upset her stomach unnecessarily.

"I put the kettle on," he continued. "Found some chamomile in the cupboard. It should be okay."

"Sounds good," Lisbon replied.

Jane handed her a plate of pancakes.

"Did you get the syrup out?" she asked.

"Nah, try this," he slide a bowl of something fruity looking toward her. "It's not as sweet, so it'll be easier on your tummy."

"Tummy?" Lisbon smirked.

"Something wrong with that?" he challenged.

"No, just sounds kinda funny, that's all."

Jane smiled back at her and made the snap decision to do something he'd been wanting to do ever since he'd woken up.

Leaning toward her under the guise of placing a fork on her plate he planted a short kiss on her cheek, "coincidentally" landing dangerously near her mouth.

He pulled back before Lisbon really had time to register what had happened.

Jane went back to dishing the remaining pancakes onto his own plate and switched off the electric skillet. It was nearly a minute before she demanded, "What the heck was that?"

Jane blinked at her innocently.

"What? You kissed me. I'm not allowed to return the gesture?"

"I did what?" she squeaked.

"Last night," he clarified.

Her green eyes flickered away from his in humiliation.

"You didn't do anything more Lisbon," Jane reassured her.

"Nothing?"

"Nope, not a thing. I brought you home, you threw up, I helped you get cleaned up and afterward you asked me to stay with you, so I did."

"That's all?"

"That's all."

"Well…that's a relief."

Lisbon moved toward the now whistling teakettle to turn it down, but as she did so she felt Jane at her back, much too close to be innocent.

She froze as his hands came into view at her side.

What was he doing? Why was he doing all this? Was he really so cruel as to try and play with her emotions like this?

But instead of touching her he reached over and turned down the kettle, then lowered his head close to hers.

When he spoke Lisbon jolted slightly.

"So you're saying that if anything more ever happened you'd be upset?"

"I…" but she didn't get any farther because at that moment she felt a pair of warm lips on the side of her neck.

Her small intake of breath was barely audible but Jane heard it anyway.

"Is that a no?"

Before she could answer Lisbon felt his mouth move higher till he came in contact with a small sensitive area just behind her ear. She let out a soft giggle before she could stop it.

Jane stopped his ministrations.

"What?"

"Nothing," Lisbon replied quickly. "Just a little…ticklish."

"Back here?" he asked in surprise and kissed the same place again.

This time Lisbon laughed out loud and moved away to escape Jane's teasing lips.

Opening one of her cupboards she grabbed two mugs and brought them out.

When she turned around she found Jane looking at her with an amused expression on his face.

"What?" she mumbled awkwardly.

"I just don't think I've ever known anyone who was ticklish there," he gestured to the area with his hand.

"Well it's not normally," Lisbon explained. "It's just when people kiss me there."

"Ah," he nodded in understanding. He moved closer and placed his arms loosely around her waist.

Instinctively Lisbon brought her hands up and placed them lightly against Jane's chest.

"So," he continued. "Would that be a yes, you'd be upset, or a no, you wouldn't?"

Lisbon looked down at her hands, unable to meet his eyes anymore. The intensity burning in them had her feeling like she wanted to do something to him that they weren't really ready for yet.

"I'd say it's a definite, maybe not."

After a few moments of silence she risked a glance up at him. He was smiling.

"That's excellent," he said softly.

Lisbon thought for a second that he was actually going to kiss her properly and she was seriously considering kissing him back, but all of a sudden his expression shifted completely and he released her.

"Now," he announced brightly. "Let's eat breakfast before it gets cold. And we wouldn't want to be late for work, would we?" He winked mischievously at his partner.

Lisbon shook her head at him affectionately.

"No we wouldn't," she agreed while contemplating how much she had to learn about _this_ Jane she'd never been given the privilege of seeing before. Well, she certainly was going to enjoy getting to know him. And hopefully she'd be doing so for the rest of her life.

* * *

Thank you for reading. Reviews are be-a-utiful. Oh yes, and here's hoping you all have a happy 2014! God bless.


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